My sister Claudine was recently setting up an online dating profile, after ditching her husband in a scuba accident. She enlisted the aid of our other sisters to identify the traits of her ideal mate. It quickly descended into a litany of complaints about men. I was privy to the whole, hurtful text chain.
What follows are the least desirable traits in a man.
Dainty Hands
A Sour Discharge- Alarmed, I sought clarification. "From anywhere."
Most -ISMs- Including sexism, racism, fascism, feminism, communism, frotteurism, evangelism. Voyeurism got some upvotes, but not as many as you all porndogs would have liked. Said Claudine, "I dated a feminist guy after college. It was his way of taking credit for me having a job and working my ass off so he could hang around all day smoking weed."
Blouses
Trump Boners- This includes, but is not limited to, erections possessed by actual members of the Trump clan. Also, "All those alpha-talking omegas on facebook who get wet for TopTroll." Messy gendered arousal metaphors aside, my sisters don't dig culty whites.
A Blogger Account
Penis Named After A Famous Actor- Joaquin Penix, Finn Wolfhard, Johnny Deep, James Peen, Chris
Can't-ilingus, Won't-ilingus
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Light moves so slowly. An offending bumper sticker skitters by on the asphalt river. By the time this indignity slams your visual cortex an...
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My sister Carla is a renowned linguist and widely published researcher. She works for a car dealership megastore based in Portland. She beli...
