Sunday, December 13, 2020

Pandemic Lesson #39

 No one lives forever.

Life is sacred, at least in the abstract. But living is so profane, riven with fluids, pain, and spasms. Death rules all fates, no matter our wealth or vanity. No ice chambered  brain, no decoded digital memory sponge will preserve this moment in your ballooning ego. Everything flickers out. You flicker. Out.

You are on your own now. Sleep tight, butterfly.

Pandemic Lesson #8

 Government should be based on reason.

Saturday, December 12, 2020

Volcanoes v. Virgins

Do we throw our chaste children into the cauldron to appease the belching spirits of the scorched core or are we trying to save them from the sagging depravity of our failed humanity? Are they liberated from these terrible body appetites? Or are they destroyed incomplete, souls without pleasure, simmering with disappointment?


When the young body hits the rocks below, no matter our reasons, we are more and less like God.

Cable News v. Enlightenment

The 24 hour news cycle is an attempt at enlightenment. Social media aspires to the complete picture, a total awareness of the rich tapestry of humanity’s glorious weirdness. But our 10% brains are not up to the task. We need gaps, empty openings where we can rest, short solace amongst all this chaos. There is too much to take in, to comprehend, to assimilate into a survivable, generous world view. We quickly fall down a well of worry and dismay. It is probably better that I don’t know what strange desires and foul feelings slosh around in the cesspool of your sloppy heart. Your hypocrisy is plain to see without your Twitter feed. 

Shut that shit off, my creeper. 

Spider Silk v. Taco Tuesday

Spiders have talented little assholes. They consume the liquefied guts of bugs and produce the strongest material in the world. A strand more refined and flexible and stronger than the finest steel ever forged of fire. With no training they weave together impeccable designs, gorgeous networks that act as a home as well as a trap to capture their food. Some can even fly on their silk, sailing on air currents to set up life anew. Spiders transubstantiate mosquitoes into beautiful life. 

People eat tacos and make loose shits and Facebook posts. 

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Monday, August 3, 2020

God's an Octopus

My sister Carla is a renowned linguist and widely published researcher. She works for a car dealership megastore based in Portland. She believes that God lives in a tide pool on the Oregon coast, outside a town called Lincoln City.

“Surly atheists always badger Christians about the translations and versions of the Bible. How challenging it is to translate Aramaic and filter these complex concepts through all of history’s languages and cultures,“ she said. “Yet the real issue is that God would never rely on words to convey meaning.“

I asked if God speaks American.

“It’s that mundane!“ she said. “Every author thinks they’re God, but only because they create and destroy at will. Gods or not, authors struggle when they discover that their text has been misinterpreted. Except for the lazy ones- that conflate ambiguity with artistic integrity- authors want to be understood. God wants to be understood.

“Why would a benevolent, all-knowing, all-powerful Creator rely on syntax, grammar, and evolving languages to share its message?

“What holy being would exclude the very young, the illiterate? Or force them to rely on the learned to connect them with the divine?”

I guess that she does not subscribe to the notion of the revealed word of God.

“God is revealed in the armored intricacies of a chiton shell or the malleable beauty of an octopus,” she said. "Not in symbols pounded into the tissue of trees.

”Plus, I can tell God is not an author, because God stopped publishing! Writers can’t help themselves,” she explains. “Once they have an idea, they just write it over and over again. We'd be up to 2000 Bibles by now.”

Monday, July 20, 2020

Pandemic Lessons #33

The supply chain is fucked up. We keep running out of weird shit: quarts of paint, frozen fruit, coins.

When Obama was president we had all kinds of coins. They were falling out of our pockets.

Head on, gracefully

Pain belongs to a community. We can’t help but share it: in songs and stories, engraved in stones, in social media posts. It is one of the g...