Sunday, June 21, 2020
Jeneane's Lost Years, the spamoir
More updates from my sister Jeneane and her ongoing collaboration with spambots. They are really getting her to open up.
Sunday, June 14, 2020
Spamoir
My sister Jeneane is collaborating with spambots to write her memoir. She’s covering what our family calls “the lost years“ from when she ran away in 1984 at age 13 with our dog Franks till her triumphant return thirty years later. She showed up unannounced at Thanksgiving dinner with a deviated septum, a tattoo of the constitution on her left thigh and a new husband, an insurance adjuster from Boca named Murray Morris, who spoke so quietly we all called him Mur-mor the Murmurer. I’ve learned a lot about my sister reading these excerpts. Apparently there were a lot of diet pills.
Sunday, June 7, 2020
Democracy Works
Americans and their headlines are filled with worry. This is a constitutional crisis. Democracy is dead. The great American experiment is over. I do not agree.
Please understand that I did not vote for Donald J and I never will. Divisive rhetoric and shortsighted policies aside, he’s a narcissist and morally bankrupt, a liar and a thief. But his shortcomings have been enumerated time and time again on every platform in every outlet with rage and despair. I come here not to bury Caesar, just to praise the system that made him possible.
Democracy works. It is an imperfect and impure system. It was created by and for imperfect and impure creatures after all. Human beings are weak and vain, fearful and full of lust. We are ruled by appetite and emotion and only indulge reason and rational thought when it serves our aims and brings some reward. Many an epidemiologist will fuck many a skanky ho. Statisticians buy scratch off tickets. We are as logical as religion.
Our founders understood that well. Perhaps they were cynical. Perhaps they were realistic. But they built a system with checks and balances, knowing full well that the lust for power corrupts all. They designed a process, imperfect and impure, but robust and adaptable. And sure enough, people have been fucking with it ever since.
Throughout history people have been messing with the electoral process in an effort to produce their desired outcomes. Ballot stuffing, gerrymandering, voter intimidation, lying, payoffs, propaganda, foreign intervention, overzealous use of social media… No party, no ideology, no righteous warrior thirsty for power is above manipulating the process to their ends. And yet, it still works. Voters get the leaders they deserve.
It’s hard to imagine a person less fit for the office of president and less capable at leadership, than Donald J. We should be distressed that he achieved this high office and that he has run amok within it. But we should appreciate the process that got him there, for it shows the strengths of the system. Any dumb asshole can be president. That’s the promise of America!
How is it possible that a racist, a chauvinist, a shyster, a bully could be elected to the most important job in the world? Simple. He won the election. Because democracy.
Did he cheat? Probably. It’s a big and important job with lots of power and perks. Ambitious people employ shenanigans to get results. Does that mean it should be celebrated? Or even allowed? No. As Americans, as stewards of democracy, it is our responsibility to find that corruption, identify it, make it known, and fix it. But it’s been going on all along and if your nitwit had won the election instead, you’d likely be fine with it.
He won because he ran a more effective campaign. He was better at mobilizing his base. Did he inflame fear and hatred, tell bald faced lies, carry on like a bigoted carnival barker? Sure did. And it worked. It appealed to a wide swath of Americans who are watching their opportunities and their way of life disappear. They are afraid for their future, for their communities, for their country. Their fears are real and their concerns are legitimate. The world is changing and it’s a very big leap to shift from coal mining to software development. A lot of people feel left behind. Donald J stoked the flames of that fear into an angry inferno. Was it ethical? No. Was it the right thing to do? Probably not, but democracy allows for deceit. The system relies on its participants to pay attention and to make the right choice, despite the hype and the lies.
And those Americans, the left behind, the poor, rural white, the angry and scared, felt strongly. They attended rallies, they got on social media, they talked up their guy, and they eked out a victory at the ballot box.
Donald J’s opponent inspired very few. As cynical as his candidacy was preying upon frightened white Americans, her candidacy was equally cynical. The party machine behind her was so out of touch and made so many bad assumptions, that they gave the election away.
With Donald J, America got what it deserved. If you’re a Donald J guy, you’re excited to have a shit talking, ass kicking, bigot in the big house. If you’re a liberal or progressive, you have likely retreated to social media where your snarky comments are retweeted by dozens. This is exactly who we are. You can pretend it’s not, but the militias in Michigan and the rioters in LA suggest we really are just angry all the time. Donald J and the screeching media and the snarling congress and the weird creepy online conspirators are our true colors. For now.
So how can I assert that democracy works?
Democracy is a process not a result. We can ensure that it works by voting the next time around. Be strong, be more fierce, be more committed, be more persuasive. If you believe there should be a change, make it happen. That’s the promise of democracy, that everyone has a voice. Use your voice.
Democracy works because we vote. We get the leader we deserve. If you think we deserve better, than vote like we do. And consider voting for leaders who will bridge the chasms of culture and ideology our current leaders exploit. Choose those that will create opportunity for all those who are being left behind, that are angry and afraid. They may be deplorable to you, but they are human beings and equally adrift in this strange time. If you get a chance, have a chat, you may find you have more in common than you know.
I cannot predict the future. As a gentle reminder to the panic ridden prognosticators and pundits, neither can you. We do not know what will happen. And so, we must make strong efforts to have a good election cycle, to make every voice heard, to get the leaders we deserve.
Democracy works, but only if you show up.
Please understand that I did not vote for Donald J and I never will. Divisive rhetoric and shortsighted policies aside, he’s a narcissist and morally bankrupt, a liar and a thief. But his shortcomings have been enumerated time and time again on every platform in every outlet with rage and despair. I come here not to bury Caesar, just to praise the system that made him possible.
Democracy works. It is an imperfect and impure system. It was created by and for imperfect and impure creatures after all. Human beings are weak and vain, fearful and full of lust. We are ruled by appetite and emotion and only indulge reason and rational thought when it serves our aims and brings some reward. Many an epidemiologist will fuck many a skanky ho. Statisticians buy scratch off tickets. We are as logical as religion.
Our founders understood that well. Perhaps they were cynical. Perhaps they were realistic. But they built a system with checks and balances, knowing full well that the lust for power corrupts all. They designed a process, imperfect and impure, but robust and adaptable. And sure enough, people have been fucking with it ever since.
Throughout history people have been messing with the electoral process in an effort to produce their desired outcomes. Ballot stuffing, gerrymandering, voter intimidation, lying, payoffs, propaganda, foreign intervention, overzealous use of social media… No party, no ideology, no righteous warrior thirsty for power is above manipulating the process to their ends. And yet, it still works. Voters get the leaders they deserve.
It’s hard to imagine a person less fit for the office of president and less capable at leadership, than Donald J. We should be distressed that he achieved this high office and that he has run amok within it. But we should appreciate the process that got him there, for it shows the strengths of the system. Any dumb asshole can be president. That’s the promise of America!
How is it possible that a racist, a chauvinist, a shyster, a bully could be elected to the most important job in the world? Simple. He won the election. Because democracy.
Did he cheat? Probably. It’s a big and important job with lots of power and perks. Ambitious people employ shenanigans to get results. Does that mean it should be celebrated? Or even allowed? No. As Americans, as stewards of democracy, it is our responsibility to find that corruption, identify it, make it known, and fix it. But it’s been going on all along and if your nitwit had won the election instead, you’d likely be fine with it.
He won because he ran a more effective campaign. He was better at mobilizing his base. Did he inflame fear and hatred, tell bald faced lies, carry on like a bigoted carnival barker? Sure did. And it worked. It appealed to a wide swath of Americans who are watching their opportunities and their way of life disappear. They are afraid for their future, for their communities, for their country. Their fears are real and their concerns are legitimate. The world is changing and it’s a very big leap to shift from coal mining to software development. A lot of people feel left behind. Donald J stoked the flames of that fear into an angry inferno. Was it ethical? No. Was it the right thing to do? Probably not, but democracy allows for deceit. The system relies on its participants to pay attention and to make the right choice, despite the hype and the lies.
And those Americans, the left behind, the poor, rural white, the angry and scared, felt strongly. They attended rallies, they got on social media, they talked up their guy, and they eked out a victory at the ballot box.
Donald J’s opponent inspired very few. As cynical as his candidacy was preying upon frightened white Americans, her candidacy was equally cynical. The party machine behind her was so out of touch and made so many bad assumptions, that they gave the election away.
With Donald J, America got what it deserved. If you’re a Donald J guy, you’re excited to have a shit talking, ass kicking, bigot in the big house. If you’re a liberal or progressive, you have likely retreated to social media where your snarky comments are retweeted by dozens. This is exactly who we are. You can pretend it’s not, but the militias in Michigan and the rioters in LA suggest we really are just angry all the time. Donald J and the screeching media and the snarling congress and the weird creepy online conspirators are our true colors. For now.
So how can I assert that democracy works?
Democracy is a process not a result. We can ensure that it works by voting the next time around. Be strong, be more fierce, be more committed, be more persuasive. If you believe there should be a change, make it happen. That’s the promise of democracy, that everyone has a voice. Use your voice.
Democracy works because we vote. We get the leader we deserve. If you think we deserve better, than vote like we do. And consider voting for leaders who will bridge the chasms of culture and ideology our current leaders exploit. Choose those that will create opportunity for all those who are being left behind, that are angry and afraid. They may be deplorable to you, but they are human beings and equally adrift in this strange time. If you get a chance, have a chat, you may find you have more in common than you know.
I cannot predict the future. As a gentle reminder to the panic ridden prognosticators and pundits, neither can you. We do not know what will happen. And so, we must make strong efforts to have a good election cycle, to make every voice heard, to get the leaders we deserve.
Democracy works, but only if you show up.
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