An Eternity of Roses

This is demented. Ruinous. Expensive and worthless.

A trivial opulence that belies the bankrupted soul of humankind's unslakable appetites.

This might be why.

Power Playing

My sister Rox works as a femdom in St. Paul and is intimately acquainted in the quirks of power. She tells the best stories at family dinners.

"The National Rifle Association has five million members," she says. "Which sounds like a lot, but is not. There are 326 million people living in the United States. That means 1.5% of the population are active, dues paying members. That means one in every 66 people is a member. That's a lot of reach, I guess. But consider that 1 in every 22 people identifies as gay or lesbian and that almost 1 in every 8 is black, or that almost half of the country is made up of women, the power the NRA wields seems out-sized."

I asked her if it was because they were armed.

She laughed, but said, "No. It's the swagger. They walk around like they own the joint, so people think they do. It's not the size of the cock in the fight, but the size of the fight in your cock."

She laughed a lot after she said that.

By the way, Rox is armed, persuaded by our sister Kate to get a Glock 43X to defend herself because of the nature of her work.

"It's purple and lethal," she said. "But I've never had to use it or even show it. I walk around like I own the joint and my bitches see that."

Arm the Atheists

My sister Kate teachers Atheism at a community college in rural Alabama. "All the gods are phony," she says. "But not useless. Affiliation is the brightest mirror we have to reflect humanity's frailty. Every god ever known is exactly as angry and as bitter as the person who worships it. Their aspirations are our own; their insecurities echo through us."

Like most of the atheists I know, Kate is remarkably pragmatic. "Progressives should arm themselves," she says. "You can’t kill fascists with an NPR tote bag."

All of my sisters are fierce, but Kate is the fiercest.

Now Hiring

Local firm seeks lead designer.

My Dog Franks

Bag of Franks.

Viral Shopping

Just going to skip over to the grocer's to get some gummy vitamins for the children.

Models vs. Terror

Mathematical modeling and engineering analytics are phony controls. The outcomes of simulations and the charts predicting fatalities cheapen the real and glorious fear of being alive. Science tames the world, but only in laboratories and the coded confines of a hard drive. Out here it's a mess and no actuarial table can save your dumb ass.

Some things so far resist modeling: turbulence- of air and of water, a wall stacked of stone, the desires of the human heart. Ask Gabriel Garcia-Marquez or Osama bin Laden. The power of love and the love to hate are wild and free, immune to analysis. Statistics can suggest the likely location of the next bombing, your dating app can recommend a fuck-buddy, but neither can tell you why. You cannot model the sacred passions that rule our foolish race. Mathematicians guess at certainties. Only artists can articulate the true grandeur of humankind's savagery.

Ever since we invented God we've been trying to replace Him/Her/It.

Bullies & Bureaucrats

More from "The Bully Protocol"
Bullies and bureaucrats are tasked with the same important job; they enforce humankind's mediocrity. They protect the average and stand for the status quo. They crush uprisings and variations. They throw their bodies and their systems in the way of change. Because change is terrifying.

Back in the day...

December 2015 were the glory days for this dusty old town.

There he goes again...

Let it fly, Little Man

Buell on the Pod

My friend Buell Thomas was on Ken Volante's podcast "Something (rather than nothing)" this week, talking about music and art. He told stories about his band Superbug way back when we were in college. It feels like I went to every one of those shows.

Buell Thomas on the Something (rather than nothing) Podcast